It’s official. At 9:26pm Thursday 10th of September i sent out my first query letter to an agent i thought highly of. I discovered her months ago and kept returning to her profile to check i still felt the same about her. For some reason i get a good vibe from her but i’d be the luckiest son of a bitch to bag the first and only agent i reached out to. Im prepared for 5 years of rejection and a mental breakdown when i hit forty with novel dead in the water. But… you know i’m trying to hope for the best see?
No one besides myself has read it and thats likely a huge mistake, but when you have no friends and trust no-one that is the price you pay i suppose. It’s the solitude i like best. I’ll probably ask my shipmate Pat to read it — he’s the only person i know besides Jack and i that still reads. I reckon he’ll get a good story out of it.
The thing i don’t like about this part of the process is that it makes me feel weak and helpless, perhaps a little embarrassed? Putting blood on the chopping block just to be poured to the chickens. I don’t mind rejection its another step towards a positive end but the in between i think will be the deal and the straw for me. I’ve had work stolen previously and go on to be published with great success. I don’t know if i can live through that again, however, my novel i suppose is worth every risk.
Simply a short message from me tonight — figured i should mark the occasion and celebrate a little victory.
Heres to you and your goodnights sleep.