I made a little video of our random Sunday this weekend. I thought you might enjoy following me along and take a little peak into my private life.
I hope you’re all doing well and enjoying the month of Christmas so far. I’ve already bought myself a Christmas present in the form of a new camera and i also haven’t completely devoured my advent calendar yet…. which is very very rare. Buying the camera absolutely was not planned. At all. I had decided to try and buy it next year but clearly that didn’t happen. I bought my other camera last year. You can read about the short post here.
Last night i sat and stared at my blog pretty much all night, wanting to write but i just felt so lousy. I haven’t been feeling well lately and it’s starting to grate on me pretty hard, but today is a new day and i’m feeling a wee bit better. Since moving to Laramie my skin has become an enormous platform for painful pustules. I’m not sure if its the water or if i’m allergic to something but my face and neck are in almost constant pain, and with the terrible headaches i get — it makes day to day a little tough; especially at work. I can sit and write no matter what my body is doing usually, but working and paying attention is another thing.
Anyway, I was actually surprised how great this camera works in lowlight — i’ll still be using my main camera but its a relief to have such a great little camera for quick use and so forth. I took the above picture last night after work. The light in the distance is the light from down town and the rail road, otherwise it was almost entirely black as death outside.
Today i brought the camera with me as we ran a few errands around town. The pictures are surprisingly lovely and filming with it is incredibly easy. There are still a few kinks i have to figure out but the camera is very straight forward. I decided a while ago that i wanted to buy a new camera specifically for vlogging and also to have something small when i don’t feel like carrying around all my heavy equipment. This camera is pocket sized and does a great job, although its weird to use a MUCH smaller camera that isn’t as fancy as my big Nikon. Usually on Cyber Mondays or black Fridays i don’t buy anything but i couldn’t resist the deal this time around. With the horseshoeing school that i’ll be attending next year i wanted an easy camera to carry during the day, and this is perfect.
We drove to the Prison museum to take a look around and buy a few things that caught our eye when we first came to town. It was quiet and there was hardly anyone around today which was lovely. With all the games and events at the university sometimes town goes game crazy and it isn’t worth the effort to leave the house. On our way back from the Prison museum we stopped by the barn i’ll eventually be riding at, and possibly trimming hooves at if all goes to plan. I wanted to show Jack some of the horses and point out the big handsome draft, but they were all wrapped up inside or around the back so it’ll have to wait for another day. Oh i really can’t wait to start there! Senior horses are the best. Until i have my own farm i’ll take what i can get.
Between the errands we also took a short trip an edge of town we hadn’t seen before. Sometimes all you need to keep on living is a “back to reality” check with nature. Nature…It has a way of showing you how minor your problems are in the long run, how little things truly matter and that things are temporary — theres a good chance they’ll get better.
I truly love the west, its hard for me to describe exactly what it is about it that has me so captured. It’s also strange to love two places so completely at the same time and have them both build you up to the person you are. We’ll be in Denmark soon and i can’t imagine what it’ll be like to be somewhere so far away from here. Sometimes the trip back to Europe hits me hard; it hits home how far i am from everyone and everything i once knew. How far from “easy” and “familiar” i am. Nevertheless, i can’t wait to see my family and see pretty Denmark at Christmas time again. Just speaking Danish and hearing Danish voices around me will be magical. I hope to go to the forest a lot too. In Scandinavia you’ll find the most magical and peaceful forests you could imagine and a sea that isn’t worth taming.
I hope you enjoyed my post and thank you all for reading.
I appreciate you.
Have a wonderful rest of your weekend.
Well, as you can see I found a home in Wyoming. A place that is enough to possibly persuade me to stop running one day. If Wyoming were an ocean I would spend my life trying to drink it, whether the salt would burn and poison me would be trivial. Though even New England where the sea was close — I found myself missing the sea because it was so cramp and full of tourists. It was never like those cold nights alone on Sand Bay beach. Thousands of miles from me now and years of memories past.
Here there is no ocean or tall ships, there is only waves and waves of empty prairie. And for now I shall have to get my oceanic fix when I fly home to Denmark or you know.. if I ever get lucky enough to take a holiday to Saint Vincent where the sea is blue and the sand is whiter than I am.
I could never choose what I loved most or what I wanted to do. And so I told the world to go fuck itself.
I’ll do it all.
And I have.
I’ve sailed with pirates and commodores. Ive ridden horses on the Texas front and I’ve been the clown I was born to be. These days I find myself in a strange state of mind. A happiness wrapped in dark melancholy that is oddly comforting.
I have a job that pays me and will fund every dream from now. I have the west and I find my dreams coming true even weekly. But when you are a part of so many things that make your heart pump a million, there is always something missing.
Today is not a day that I will sail. Nor is tomorrow. But there will be a day when I see the sea and we’ll kiss like we always do.
I don’t know what kind of believer I am, but I know things do happen. And one thing that happened most recently, something that shook me to my core, was that I met a horse.. a horse that captured me like a sail from a mast holding the wind. An old man whom I call Old Bowleg. Im sure local photographers have an actual name for him, but I gave him this one.
A majestic horse that has seen war with half his ear chewed from its cartilage and a leg bent all out of shape. Yet still he stands as tall as the trees at the bottom of a valley. Still he knows the favorable wind and it flows through his mane. If there was a god — he walks this earth with a bowleg. Now that is something I can believe in.
He was a painting. He was an old chieftain without his tribe. I believe that he had been run off from his mares by a younger suitor. So out there on top of the mountain I found him. Between the reeds and the straw. This beautiful animal, stronger than any man I’ve ever seen, and his faith never wavered in all his years regardless of the fact that his leg struggled beneath him. It didn’t matter because he could fly.
If I had had the time to sit and talk with him a while I would have, but alas it was not be this time. If he Is still alive when the summer comes I shall look for him and maybe I am destined to look for him for an eternity. If that is the way, so be it. But how grateful I am to have seen him even for a moment, it seemed but a second. He was what I always dreamed a true American mustang must be. What America was and can be again. Thats unfair. America is a wonderful place, but the politics — the never fucking ending political bullshit is nonsense. And so I don’t think about it. I think about what I see and what I feel.
And that horse, that day — he took something from me and since I saw him I haven’t been able to stop feeling like I wanted to run back. I don’t relate to people. Thats not my business. Animals, its always the animals. They have me in a vice. Bowleg gave me something… a vision. I will remember him as my spirit horse — the one who taught me that though I have been pained and wounded it doesn’t have to stop me. It doesn’t have to define me. As long as I remember.
Remember. Remember. Remember.
To as true to you as you can be.
It doesn’t matter what Agatha did or what Johnson said. Riley can go fuck himself. What matters today and tomorrow is what you are.
No one can take that from me. And no one can take it from you.